In the words of Fraulein Maria...

Let's start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start!  So here goes: I had a four hour labour on two paracetamol and half a Jelly Baby, only six hours after giving birth I was wearing my jeans and only ten hours later was home again watching an episode of Star Trek and sipping a cup of tea.  For the first week my hubby of five and a half years and I took it in turns to stay up with our baby girl and check that she was still breathing.  During those nights I drank a lot of tea, changed a lot of nappies, paused the TV more than watched it, ate a lot of digestives, mopped up a lot of sick, shed a lot of tears and thought about becoming a panda so dark were the circles under my eyes.   During the day I wiled away the hours asking my husband “is she alright" or "what do you think she wants?”.  Every little cry, every movement brought our immediate attention to this tiny, incapable, vulnerable creature that was totally dependent upon us… 

A few nights ago I came to the aid of my baby girl when she woke up crying; I held her against my chest in the dark and sung “Little Peter Rabbit” to her.  She eventually relaxed and went back to sleep, her little body slumped peacefully against mine.  I remember being struck by the huge amount of trust in me she displayed by falling asleep on me and I thought about what I am like as one of God’s babies.   Do I really trust in my heart that he will provide for my every need? Do I understand that when I’m hungry he will feed me and when I am sad he will comfort me?  Do I trust him enough to completely relax in his arms and let him carry me?  

I try to love and follow the Lord Jesus, I am a wife and a mummy but I am no expert!  I do not claim any special wisdom… or trade secrets!  But what I do want to do is just share about how being a mummy has changed me, how it has confronted my selfishness and my pride, even though I don’t want those things to be challenged or brought into the harsh light of day.  But above all I want to share how it has deepened my understanding of God’s grace and mercy towards me.  I must confess that I don’t think every post will be about being a Christian mum, some will be about being a mum and others about being a Christian, but I hope the best ones will be a bit of both.