I've corks up my nose...literally it feels like corks. The lack of sleep has led my immune system to go on holiday and I have become Bummy. Not Mummy, oh no. The M sound is too hard to attain at this germ infested stage of new born sleep deprivation.
Also feeling a bit like a 24 hour dairy farm. Little Lady no.2 fed every 45 minutes between 5pm and 1am yesterday and as much as I'd like to give her a dummy the Mummy Guilt and Dummy Righteousness creep in and I think to myself "no child of mine at three weeks old will have a dummy!" and then I look at my bed all cold and un-disheveled and I think would it be so bad?
On the plus side there are many interesting dramas and documentaries on at the moment that I'm finding time to watch/doze off during. I have in particular enjoyed the last 20 minutes of "The Men Who Made Us Thin" at least three times...but I still don't know precisely how they did it....
Thankfully Little Lady no.1 has been brilliant, calm and collected, giving hugs, putting nappies in bins (whilst keeping up the potty training) and she really understands when we say "no that's not yours it baby's!" and we have had very few tantrums. Feeling thankful for small mercies.
Also reveling in the fact that no two days are the same and so I never have to feel anxious that tonight will be as hard as last night because newborns like to keep you on your toes, or perhaps more precisely on your knees.
I'm on my knees...changing nappies and throwing myself very much at the mercy of God. Not feeling like wondermum, just trusting that the patience, gentleness, self-control and love that I need to get through each day is something that God freely provides for me in Jesus. I don't have to expend extra energy welling it all up from some unknown (yet undeniably limited) pool of inner strength. I can just relax in the knowledge that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
