Enough already.

Back in January the Hubby started a new job.  It's much more suited to his talents and he looks very handsome in a suit although of course I am biased...

anywho...it has been really good so far and a real testament to God's faithfulness and provision for us as we received news of the new job around the same time we found out we were expecting baby no.2.

But this last week has been a bit of a strain on the old family life.  Hubby  has left the house before 7am and arrived home around 10pm three nights in a row this week and although it's only been a few days it has left me feeling a little like a single parent!  I now  have a deeper sense of sympathy and understanding for friends I know whose Husbands are frequently away with work...and mine's not even away!

So you'd think that the lack of husband this week would make me realise how blessed I am and make me more appreciative of him.  But nope, of course not, that would be outrageous... instead I chose to allow it to make me feel a little proud; "see", I said to myself "I can do this all by myself, I'm perfectly capable".  Well.  True that may be however, God didn't allow me to feel that way for long...

I'm currently reading "Note to Self" by Joe Thorn our Church book for the term.  Yesterday I read  the chapter called Jesus is Enough and I was so challenged by the following statement:

"When you find your deepest satisfaction in Jesus, you are protected from bitterness in times of want and pride in times of abundance.  For you, Christian, all good gifts should remind you of the Giver, and their absence should remind you of that which never fades nor can be taken away"

I am clearly not finding my deepest satisfaction in Jesus, I have been quite bitter with the hubby over his time at work this week, telling him in a text yesterday that he should be grateful for all I've been doing...in a jokey way...but WE ALL KNOW the little emotional, manipulative daggers we try and hide behind such "humorous" statements. Then on the other hand when I feel I have coping strategies in abundance I have become proud "check me out what a wonderful single parent I would have made!". Ugh how disgusting is sin.

The good gift of my husband has not reminded me of the one who gave him to me and his absence certainly hasn't reminded me of Jesus my ultimate loving husband.

I have not been finding much satisfaction in Jesus at all really rather in digestive biscuits, excessive cups of tea, hurtful comments when I'm overwhelmed and pride when things are going well.  And of course BBC iplayer. 

But thank God for... well... himself. And also Joe Thorn.  I've recognised my bitterness and pride and I'm trying not to feel good about that either "oh I'm so amazingly self-aware blah, blah, blah".  I'm just hoping since the lovely hubby got home at 6:30pm this evening that I can thank God for (and enjoy) our evening together and remember that as much as I love my husband I will one day experience a face to face and everlasting encounter with the ultimate, way better than my own, husband.

And so to stir fry. Yum.

Blunder Mum

When's it coming...

when will it happen...

when will The Idea arrive...?

just keep blogging, just keep blogging, just keep blogging, blogging, blogging...

inspiration from Dory!

There are so many things I could have "just blogged about" since January 21st after a few weeks worth of Ideas...but wanting to be full of wit, gracious words and deep insight has left me shrinking back from the old blog...what if no-one reads it...I'm already way behind on page views compared to the other wonder mum's with their wonder mum blogs.

This is why I don't put up my statistics.  It's an unhelpful "my blog is better than yours!" (I'm humming that to the song about milkshake... you know the one).  And although every blog is every blogger's 15 minutes of fame on their own little stage I didn't blog for the ego boost originally.  I blogged to be an encouragement to others. Honest, that's how it started.

Of course it's lovely to have comments, it makes me feel like what I have to say matters. It's lovely to see people reading what I've written and I 'humbly' receive comments from close friends and family who keep themselves up to date with the blog.

But what's the point if it takes months between posts...bloggers's block, too busy, too uninspired, not enough of an ego boost to be worth the effort...the newbie bloggers buzz has subsided..and I'm just me.

what if I'm just really a rubbish Christian and I can no longer "confess" because I too am trying to be a wonder mum blogger when really I'm just a blunder mum blogger.  A mum who's yelled at her daughter three times already today, sat in front of the telly instead of cleaning the bathroom or reading her Bible...

I must confess I know people will say "it's ok, we all do these things... it could be worse".

It could be a lot worse.  I could face all this without knowing that

"When I'm stained with guilt and sin,
he is there to lift me, heal me and forgive me,
gives me strength to stand again,
stronger than I was before"

here endeth the wonder mum posts.

here beginneth "confessions of a blunder mum"!

And then there were...four!

So it’s been very busy and I haven’t had a chance to catch up with you all recently.  We of the rabbit variety are very very busy over the festive period.  It is a little known fact that we are key elements of the STPT (Santa’s Toy Preparation Team) and work closely with his elves…well what did you think we did for the rest of the year!?  Easter only takes up about six weeks!  Any who, I've taken some time to recuperate only to find that my sister and I are no longer the “Little Lady’s favourite toy”.

This is an outrage.

We have been usurped by two other, and need I say, inferior toys. 

This is Jelly Cat:

And this is the aptly named Smedward (short for smelly Edward):

These two have usurped mine and Josie #2’s place in the sucking order.  We are the last ones needed for comfort and a good old night time chew.  We are devastated.  We have spent the last two weeks moping around, buried at the bottom of the toy box despite Mummy’s best efforts to get the Little Lady to play with us.  But then came a moment we had lost all hope of:

I must admit it felt like a beautiful moment of reconciliation and also a moment when I could see beyond mine and Josie #2's bright pink fur and look at the bigger picture.  We all must be friends, a team, a family willing to look after the Little Lady when she needs us.  It also means I don’t have to spend too much time lost under a pile of dirty washing or be hung up to dry by my ears…which is much more painful than you humans can appreciate.

Then we all received some wonderful news and we’re really looking forward to the opportunities and challenges it will present for our little furry family of four…

The Little Lady is expecting a baby brother or sister!!!!

So really it’s a good thing as our furry family has expanded because our human family is expanding and I’m sure our furry comforting skills will be needed more than ever by July 31st!

A Tiny Talker at heart...

So I started a new kiddy class today.  The Little Lady and I have hung up the Tiny Talk hat and have put on the Tumble Tots t-shirt…quite literally you get your own t-shirt…well the Lady does anyway. 

Good Bye Tiny Talk classes :(

I was feeling fine about the change at the end of last term.  We had our final class, handed over a thank you card to the lovely Claire whose class we've been going to since April and said our good byes.  But today as I went to a different class I realised I’m actually really sad about leaving Tiny Talk behind. We have absolutely loved Tiny Talk!  It’s been brilliant to learn the sign language and all the songs and I’ll never forget when the Lady did her first sign.  

At the end of last term she got her final certificate to say she was using 45 plus signs by 17 months and that she was an extra-ordinary communicator!  And I really think she is.  We have conversations about what we see when we’re out for a walk, she tells me she can see buses, Lorries and dogs.  She can put two signs together now, she does the sign for “where” and then “Daddy?”.  She asks where Daddy is all the time (even if he’s just gone upstairs)!  It’s SO cute.

The signing is helping us get used to the idea of potty training as the Lady can tell us that she’s doing a little something special for us in her nappy… now we just need to get her to do it on the potty! But the point is she knows what she’s doing, she signs for potty and  she signs for wipes…even though it’s occasionally on the late side. She understands so much of her world and  it’s all because of Tiny Talk.

I was really grateful the other day when I hadn't noticed the oven clock alarm sounding to tell me my cakes were ready and the Little Lady waddled over to me and signed “I hear a noise!” and so off I went to rescue our cakes. What a star!

Although last week it made me a little bit sad as her nursery worker told me she signs for Mummy a lot when she’s at nursery and the old mother’s guilt crept in…

Hello Tumble Tots!

But today we braved it to Tumble Tots. And we had a great time.  The Lady soon got the hang of the circuits and was crawling through tunnels, doing forward rolls, sliding down slides and jumping on mini-trampolines.  At the end of the session there’s a challenge on one of the apparatus and if you complete it you get a star stamp on your hand.  The Little Lady completed it three times and got three stamps!

And after each stamp she looked at the instructor and signed 

“thank you”. 

We may not have been at Tiny Talk today… 

but we were there in spirit!