Smile...I'm singing again!

I went to the Christmas party for my favourite toddler group yesterday and I was somewhat disappointed to find that any form of Jesus had been written out of the scene.  We were learning "all about Christmas" and yet there was no mention of a wise man or a star...even what I would call angels were described as Christmas fairies!  All nursery rhymes had been re-written for us to sing including santa, reindeer, snowmen and presents.  Don't get me wrong I love a good present but surely (and I apologise for this in advance) JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

So I have taken it upon myself to re-write some of the classics with a nativity theme so you can sing them to your little ones (or yourself!) and learn all about the real, the very first, the one and only Christmas:

Smile...they're singing again dear!

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
how I wonder what you are,
up above the world so high,
to tell of Jesus birth nearby,
twinkle, twinkle little star,
how I wonder what you are!



To the tune of here we go round the mulberry bush:

Here we go down to Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem
here we go down to Bethlehem, on a cold and dusty morning

the wise-men went to...

the shepherds went to...

Jesus was born in...

To the tune of three little men in a flying saucer:

3 wise-men riding on their camels,
went through the desert one day,
one looked left to right but he didn't like the sight
so he followed the star away,

2 wise-men...

1 wise man...

To the tune of Old McDonald:

Baby Jesus born in a Barn E,i,e,i,o,
and in that barn there was a....

donkey, cow, sheep etc

To the tune of Head, shoulders, knees and toes:
Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh, cense and Myrrh!
Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh, cense and Myrrh!
Gifts to give the new born king!
Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh, cense and Myrrh!

Please let me know if you can think of any more, five isn't many but my creativity has peaked today at that and banana muffins :)

Freedom Las Vegas

For ages (because I didn't really listen to the song) I thought it said "freedom Las Vegas".  Alas now I know better and I always feel a bit silly for thinking it said "freedom".  But despite feeling silly it's the ditty I sometimes sing in my head when I am pleased about completing or finishing something.

It's the ditty I sung to myself today as I finally left my place of work for the very last time as an employee! 

Hooray! I made it through!  I came so close to quitting so many times because I know now that I want to be a "full time, stay at home Mum" (take as much or as little offence as you like at the phrases) and having to go to work again and again was literally agonizing.  Tears have been shed, husband yelled at, cat sworn at, lovely little lady ignored because I was consumed by having to go to work when I wanted more than anything to be at home....

But God gave me strength and perseverance and got me through my severe "please don't make me go syndrome". He gave me a lovely place to work, kind people to work with and a generous and understanding manager. So admittedly, despite being happy to leave to be a "full time, stay at home Mum", I have had a little cry or four over the past couple of days because actually I'm really sad to leave.  I'm sad because I've made some wonderful friends, met some amazing people, heard some brilliant stories and been really privileged to look after so many people and I'll never get to walk the work corridors in the same way again.  

But this I know. That God gives grace for all situations. He doesn't promise easy rides but he promises sufficient grace in all areas of our lives.  He gave me plenty of grace to help me get through these last few months at work even though my heart was and is firmly fixed on my home and family. And no doubt when things are hard as a "full time, stay at home Mum" and I'm partly wishing I was back at work, I trust he will prove himself faithful all over again and provide me with more grace.  Grace is like the manna God provided for the Israelites in the desert. God provides just the right amount for each day, all I have to do is pay attention and go collect it wherever I am, whatever I'm doing.  I'm not going to be collecting it, living by it at my care home anymore but as a "full time, stay at home Mum". 

Same grace. Different place.

Blunder Mum

When's it coming...

when will it happen...

when will The Idea arrive...?

just keep blogging, just keep blogging, just keep blogging, blogging, blogging...

inspiration from Dory!

There are so many things I could have "just blogged about" since January 21st after a few weeks worth of Ideas...but wanting to be full of wit, gracious words and deep insight has left me shrinking back from the old blog...what if no-one reads it...I'm already way behind on page views compared to the other wonder mum's with their wonder mum blogs.

This is why I don't put up my statistics.  It's an unhelpful "my blog is better than yours!" (I'm humming that to the song about milkshake... you know the one).  And although every blog is every blogger's 15 minutes of fame on their own little stage I didn't blog for the ego boost originally.  I blogged to be an encouragement to others. Honest, that's how it started.

Of course it's lovely to have comments, it makes me feel like what I have to say matters. It's lovely to see people reading what I've written and I 'humbly' receive comments from close friends and family who keep themselves up to date with the blog.

But what's the point if it takes months between posts...bloggers's block, too busy, too uninspired, not enough of an ego boost to be worth the effort...the newbie bloggers buzz has subsided..and I'm just me.

what if I'm just really a rubbish Christian and I can no longer "confess" because I too am trying to be a wonder mum blogger when really I'm just a blunder mum blogger.  A mum who's yelled at her daughter three times already today, sat in front of the telly instead of cleaning the bathroom or reading her Bible...

I must confess I know people will say "it's ok, we all do these things... it could be worse".

It could be a lot worse.  I could face all this without knowing that

"When I'm stained with guilt and sin,
he is there to lift me, heal me and forgive me,
gives me strength to stand again,
stronger than I was before"

here endeth the wonder mum posts.

here beginneth "confessions of a blunder mum"!

Wait a minute Mr. Postman!

So the little lady is in the bath eating the plug cord and sinking her toy boat when there's a knock at the door...hmmm...  I consider not answering it but the car's in the drive and all the lights are on and so of course it may appear rude not to when I am clearly at home.  I open the door hearing a multitude of splashes plop themselves onto the bathroom floor to find my next door neighbour standing there with a package he's clearly been given because we were not at home when the postman came. 

I thank Colin for kindly taking the package in and shut the door returning to the bathroom to find the lady waving my razor around without the safety guard on. The content of the package is expected, I have ordered a birthday banner for the lady because Vistaprint tempted me with their too good to be true freebies where you only have to pay for postage but have to spend hours figuring out what you're actually entitled to...anywho, what is baffling me is why on earth the postman left my package next door when I have a lovely shiny new sticker saying:

Our lovely Royal Mail have now decided as a matter of course to automatically leave undelivered post and packages with neighbours...you can however opt out.  Which I did indeed do for three reasons.

1. the neighbours to our left are a bit weird if I'm honest, they send their children round to borrow paracetamol and occasionally old newspapers and one time an electrical pump for blowing up inflatables (which we did in fact have but that's another story) I'm not sure I want them left in charge of my post.  Not feeling too worried about what they'd do with birthday banners but with other slightly more valuable things we on occasion order.  On occassion.

2.  I don't want our elderly neighbour to the right being bothered with our packages and having to bring them round, mostly because I'm embarrassed by our unseemly untidy front garden and its permanent rubble feature...

3.  I don't want anyone else to know how much stuff I buy (and how many "freebies" I've recently been buying off Vistaprint...), whom I have to see on a regular basis! 

so a few weeks ago I went online to the Royal Mail website ordered my sticker, of which you only get one by the way, to say "please return undelivered mail to sorting office".  It clearly instructs you to stick it in a place visible to the postman so I thought "I know.  Where's more visible than on the letter slot in my door?" But no.  Apparently this is too subtle.  The postman would have knocked on the door and stood there for a good minute until deciding we weren't at home, clearly he did not look at the sticker   He then probably  lifted the flap with the sticker on to see if the package would fit.  He then would have decided to leave it with Colin...

...What is the world coming to!

Having contemplated this frustrating incident  I realise that the lady is chewing on the shampoo bottle after being repeatedly asked not to.  

It appears that no-one listens to me!

Next to me...

A friend of mine recently suggested this song as inspiration for a blog.  It’s Emeli Sande’s “Next to Me:

Next to me by Emeli Sande

 

Here is a version of the lyrics without all the oooohhhhs...

You won't find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won't ever find him being unfaithful
you will find him, you'll find him next to me.

You won't find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find him where the rest go
you will find him, you'll find him next to me.

When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
and I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
cause I'll find him, I'll find him next to me.

When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing

and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, I'll find him next to me.

When the end has come and buildings falling down fast
when we spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
when everyone has lost their heads around us
you will find him, you'll find him next to me.

I had heard this song before my friend recommended it but I'd never really paid much attention to the lyrics. I'd simply enjoyed tapping my foot enthusiastically along  without much thought for the words.  Since I looked them up I can’t stop listening to it!  I don’t know if Emeli is a Christian or not and it doesn’t bother me either way because songs are as much about interpretation as they are the writer's intent.  But for my non-christian friend who recommended it and for me there are definitely some “religious” overtones to say the least!

I think it’s a bit of a modern psalm and I especially love the line “when I can’t seem to find no help or love for free...I’ll find him next to me”.  It makes a certain kind of joy and assurance well up in my heart because I know that Jesus’ help and love is free and always will be. He will never be unfaithful; he can stop the tears from falling... 

He's next to me.  

I hope and pray that one day the lovely Lady will choose to have him next to her. 

And if he isn't already, the question is: Will you find him next to you?

Joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart...

Sorry I’ve not been able to blog for a while! Life has been so busy, with a little trip to catch up with all the fam and then there was sunshine which of course means lazy days but here’s a little thought…I promise to blog more regularly in the next few weeks!!!

Anyways…here we go: There’s nothing worse than feeling like a bad mother.  Today has been one of those days where I’ve slowly devolved into a grizzling grouchy monster.  With greasy hair, a jumper covered in baby snot, jeans pasted with mashed up sweet corn crisps, no milk in the fridge and two giant piles of washing I want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and cry it all away.  It’s not just today either my feelings are all over the place at the moment, some days I’m really bored of playing peek-a-boo and some days I find it really exciting to see my little ones face light up as I reappear from behind the blanket. Some days I’m ridiculously tired because I’ve been up several times in one night to deal with a teething baby and on other days I have bags of enthusiasm for swimming and walks to the park despite a lack of sleep.  The other night I was in tears about having to return to work and yet today as I’ve picked bits of Courgette and Butternutsquash up from around the high chair I’m pleased to think that someone else will be dealing with the mess for a few days a week instead of me!

Last night I got up at 3am to change a nappy and put some teething gel on a rather unhappy little lady and once I’d settled her back down and got myself into bed  I began worrying about going back to work again.  Silly stuff like when would I have time to go and buy resources, who will I be working with this time, how quickly will I be expected to get back to a full timetable…?  The panic set in as I also thought about when I was going to fit in the washing up, the weekly shop, laundry,  plus all the fun stuff like swimming, trips to the library, knitting and baking and up until this moment I haven’t even thought about what will happen to my (currently not so regular) regular quiet time with God and I’m even thinking the last thing I want to do is speak to God about all the stuff that’s stressing me out because it’s just one more thing to add to my huge “to do” list.

I think this whole thought process reveals a lot about my attitude towards all the things that are on my mind at the moment.  I’ve realised that there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of joy.  Ok there’s the occasional peek-a-boo moment but overall I think I’m missing a bit of joy.  This seems somewhat ironic since I claim to worship a God who says “I will make your joy complete” (John 16: 24) Looking more closely at the verse I see what it is that will make my joy complete… “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”  I have forgotten that I serve a generous God who sees all my needs (Luke 12:22-24) and will happily provide for me and in fact it is his good pleasure to do so (Luke 12:32) and if I ask he will not give me a bad gift (Luke 11:11-13)!  I can take joy from my job and from my time spent at home equally as long as I ask God to provide all that I need to do each task well and for his glory!

So really rather than worrying about what and when and how I'm gonna talk to God and ask him to take care of the nitty gritty so I can get on with seeking the joy that is mine in Christ.

Do Everything...

Here's a link to a great song I heard on the radio the other day.

It's authentic Christian cheese but the lyrics to the first verse really struck and encouraged me (and admittedly made me cry a little)

Do Everything by Steven Curtis Chapman

here's a link to the lyrics if you're interested as well:

Do Everything Lyrics

Here are the words that particularly struck me:

You're picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips and head out the door.
And while I may not know you I bet I know you wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you.

Colossians 3:23 Amen!

Sleep. Glorious Sleep

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?  Ernest Hemmingway

So apparently seven to eight hours sleep is what the human body needs to be revived and re energised each night.  Well anyone with a baby can tell you that they rarely get eight hours sleep a night!  I know some parents with five and six year olds who still don't get a full night’s sleep.  For me and for many other mums the sleepless nights begin before the little one has even arrived.  With my back under constant and growing strain and a bladder with no room, night times during pregnancy made for frequent toilet visits and lots of tossing and turning with pillows trying to get comfortable.  However, it all seemed to be good prep for when baby finally arrived as I was quite used to being up three or four times a night!

This morning I woke up after eight hours sleep in a row.  What a luxury...I was so pleased with myself, as if I had achieved something truly great!  But the more I thought about it the more worried I became as I suddenly realised that I now had no excuse left for losing my temper or not doing various dull chores...with eight hours sleep under my belt according to my own standards this was the day that Super Mum should emerge.  As I was sitting in my rocking chair feeding the baby lady I realised that my own heart is very cunning and has allowed me to justify my short temper and laziness under the banner of tiredness. 

Jeremiah 17:9 says “the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick”.  I cannot blame all the things I usually blame tiredness for.  I have to blame it on my heart.  My heart which says “don’t worry it’s not your fault you lost your temper you’re just tired” or “You wouldn’t find doing the washing up such a chore if you weren’t so tired” But this day has proven to me that eight hours sleep doesn’t equal Super Mum!  I have found things hard, I have been a tad lazier than I should have been and I have still found myself frustrated at the usual things.  Thankfully however, there is a cure for my sick heart and that is receiving a new one from Jesus.  In Ezekiel 36:26 God makes this promise to us “I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” There’s no way I can cure myself!  Even the most effective self-improvement programmes which help me to try harder will fail if the real problem of my sick heart is not addresses.  There’ll always be something else that brings out my selfishness the only option left is a heart transplant and Jesus is my willing donor.

What a cheesy finish!  But it’s so true. Christ wants to give us hearts like his; generous, patient, loving, caring, kind, faithful, obedient hearts that put him in his right place and reveal our sin to us rather than leaving us to fester as we listen to the lies our sick hearts tell us.  So tomorrow morning, eight hours sleep or not I’m gonna wake up and ask God to give me a Christ-like heart so I can face the day, my sin and all its frustrations with a Christ-like attitude.

In the words of Fraulein Maria...

Let's start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start!  So here goes: I had a four hour labour on two paracetamol and half a Jelly Baby, only six hours after giving birth I was wearing my jeans and only ten hours later was home again watching an episode of Star Trek and sipping a cup of tea.  For the first week my hubby of five and a half years and I took it in turns to stay up with our baby girl and check that she was still breathing.  During those nights I drank a lot of tea, changed a lot of nappies, paused the TV more than watched it, ate a lot of digestives, mopped up a lot of sick, shed a lot of tears and thought about becoming a panda so dark were the circles under my eyes.   During the day I wiled away the hours asking my husband “is she alright" or "what do you think she wants?”.  Every little cry, every movement brought our immediate attention to this tiny, incapable, vulnerable creature that was totally dependent upon us… 

A few nights ago I came to the aid of my baby girl when she woke up crying; I held her against my chest in the dark and sung “Little Peter Rabbit” to her.  She eventually relaxed and went back to sleep, her little body slumped peacefully against mine.  I remember being struck by the huge amount of trust in me she displayed by falling asleep on me and I thought about what I am like as one of God’s babies.   Do I really trust in my heart that he will provide for my every need? Do I understand that when I’m hungry he will feed me and when I am sad he will comfort me?  Do I trust him enough to completely relax in his arms and let him carry me?  

I try to love and follow the Lord Jesus, I am a wife and a mummy but I am no expert!  I do not claim any special wisdom… or trade secrets!  But what I do want to do is just share about how being a mummy has changed me, how it has confronted my selfishness and my pride, even though I don’t want those things to be challenged or brought into the harsh light of day.  But above all I want to share how it has deepened my understanding of God’s grace and mercy towards me.  I must confess that I don’t think every post will be about being a Christian mum, some will be about being a mum and others about being a Christian, but I hope the best ones will be a bit of both.