I've been digesting; spiritually

Here are my thoughts on the latest chapter of Shepherding a Child’s Heart.  I read it almost two weeks ago late one evening, the application questions blew my mind and only two days ago did I get round to writing a few thoughts down in my notebook to help me digest…here they are:

 

 “Children are worshipers.  They are never neutral…they are not simply the sum total of what you put into them; they interact with their life out of faith or unbelief.”

I guess this explains why I have seen many children who grow up in a loving, caring, nurturing, encouraging and bible believing family walk away from a relationship with Jesus.  And, at the end of the day my lovely one is not the sum total of all I and her Daddy put into her.  She is an active responder to all that we teach her and her childhood experiences.  She has a heart full of “motives, desires, wants, goals, hopes and expectations”.  

This is worrying! 

I want the Lady to grow up in a loving, freeing and fulfilling relationship with Jesus and no matter how hard I try or how well I parent her there are no guarantees.  This means two things:

1. I must trust God more…because the Lady’s salvation isn’t in my hands exclusively.  Yes; I must shepherd and guide to the best of my ability, but my power is limited, only God can change hearts.
2. I must trust that trusting God for her salvation is the best way to parent!

In the application questions Tripp asks this:

“How can you design winsome and attractive ways of challenging the idolatry you may see within your child?”

‘Honestly I just don’t know!’
was my initial response at 11pm…

Here’s what I jotted down a couple of days ago:

1. Always tell the Lady how living for God is so much better and way more fulfilling and freeing.
2. Always demonstrate to the Lady how living for God is so much better and way more fulfilling and freeing. Lead by example and learn together by:
3. Being honest about our hearts and their “motives, desires, wants, goals, hopes and expectations”.
4. Being honest about my own sin and mistakes (without burdening the Lady and sharing too much that’s beyond her comprehension!)
5. Use 3 and 4 to help the Lady identify how she is investing in things that do not satisfy. And always assume we can understand, learn and grow together.
6. Pray… 
7. Pray way more than I am already
8. And then some more

I am finding this book a really challenging read.  I was brought up in a non-Christian family, deciding to follow Jesus at the age of 17.  I know what it’s like to live without Jesus at the centre, without his love, grace, freedom, forgiveness, discipline and kindness; I do not want the Lady to experience this kind of life, because really, it is no life at all.  I could worry myself to death, but just now this verse popped into my head:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
  Philippians 4:13

Phew.

Hanging around...

I’ve spent the last couple of days lying on my back looking at the ceiling! It’s not very exciting.  I’m rather disappointed as Mum and Lady went shopping yesterday and I would liked to have seen the city as I haven’t been yet.

Mum’s behind on the washing and I’ve been lying on top of the pile in the spare bedroom. Several times Mum has walked in and walked straight back out having been dismayed by the ever increasing amount.  I told her if I could put myself in the washing machine I would but I can’t reach any of the door handles… or buttons… and the box of powder is far too heavy for me to lift off the shelf… assuming I can even jump that high.

I understand how she feels but oh, how I’ve longed for a bath.  I was becoming rather pungent and my ears were feeling very soggy until Daddy came to the rescue this morning.

After a nice long bath (aka trip to the washing machine) I am now feeling fresh as a daisy!  I’ve had a lovely lazy day spent hanging around in the sunshine.  I’ve seen pretty flowers and the dogs next door, I’ve seen bumble bees and clouds the shape of carrots!

I am now ready and raring for my day at nursery tomorrow with the Lady.

Befriending Faithfulness

“Trust in the Lord, and do good: 

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.” 

Psalm 37:3

I came across this verse recently and I was really struck by the beautiful phrase “befriend faithfulness”.  I wasn’t exactly sure what the verse meant at first all I know is that it created in me a warm fuzzy feeling which suggested that it was a very positive thing.

Firstly I thought about what a lovely virtue “faithfulness” is to befriend. 

Secondly I thought about how I was being told to befriend it.  Befriending is a verb and I am being asked to do something!  The good old free online dictionary told me that to befriend means “to behave as a friend, to assist and to favour.”  This then made me rethink about what it was I was being told to befriend.  It’s actually a bit hard to befriend a character trait or virtue, faithfulness seems like it’s something you either have or you don’t, not something you can be friends with or assist or favour...

Then I came across this nugget in an internet search:

Befriending faithfulness is as simple as befriending Jesus.

He is the epitome of faithfulness.

 

In my head the penny dropped and I marvelled at how Jesus is in every verse and he speaks through every part of the Bible.  If faithfulness is a person rather than a vague ideal it becomes much easier to befriend.  It’s easier to understand what I am supposed to do:

1. To act like I am a friend of Jesus (because I am!) and remember that he calls me friend. 
2. Assist him in his mission to make his name and deeds known among the nations, my friends and my family. 
3. To favour him, to love, worship and serve him more than anything else and before anyone else.

It’s such a beautiful verse and it really fills me with enthusiasm.  My heart literally responds with joy.  I feel refreshed as I think about my continuing journey as a Christian.  And I look forward to getting up tomorrow and thinking about how I am going to further befriend Jesus who is faithful and true.

Cornflour fun...

I was trapsing through some recent photos of the lady on the computer and came across this one from a couple of weeks ago!

We had great fun one wet afternoon with cornflour and water.  I'd never done this before but I came across the idea on a random search for messy play ideas.  You use half water and half cornflour.  On the table top it's a liquid but when you squish it between your hands it goes solid.  

The little lady loved playing with the gooey substance, especially as I turned it pink with a bit of food colouring.  

Thankfully after a couple of attempts she decided it was not very tasty and stopped trying to eat it.

Tip:  Wait for it to dry before trying to clean it up...otherwise it's almost impossible!

Daddy !

When the lovely one was six months old I took her to a Tiny Talk baby sign language course.  Six months later and there’s no sign of a sign at all.  But all of a sudden in Sainsbury’s car park as I explained in sign to the lovely little one that we were going home to see Daddy she looked at me very intently and signed Daddy back to me!  I was so proud of her and overjoyed that she had understood me and decided to communicate with me that a torrent of coo-es and non-sense praise came flowing out of my mouth all the way home.

It was such a simple moment and it brought me such a great sense of achievement that all my effort to learn the signs and take her weekly to the class had been rewarded.  But what it really made me think about was how much greater God’s joy must be when one of his children decides to communicate with him.  And on the flip side how much it must grieve him when we his children, whom he so lovingly made, turn our backs on him and deny him his right as our Father. 

Being a Mummy has taught me a lot about what it looks like to be a daughter to God and how to respond to him as my parent. Relationships are full of joy and tiny moments that make all the hard work really worthwhile and the more time I spend with the lady the more I learn about her nuances and how to communicate with her (and of course our Tiny Talk classes are guiding us further!). It’s just the same with God- the more time I spend with him in the Bible and in prayer the more I know him and the more worthwhile and rewarding being in a relationship with him is.  I also look at everything the lady and I do and just try to enlarge it and realise it on a scale where everything that God does is way better and bigger and more perfect than anything I do.  Because of my own experiences as a parent I know how privileged I am to have God as my heavenly Father, I am overwhelmed that the God who made the universe is bothered about me and wants to know me and I am grateful that he has blessed me with a little one to show me that he loves me more than I could ever have imagined.

And I often wonder how God felt  when I said "Daddy" for the first time...

5 things the little one plays with that I sometimes wish she didn’t!

1. Light switches.  The beautiful one has just learnt what a light switch does.  This morning when we got up and went to the living room it was still quite dark because of the rain clouds.  The lady pointed to the light switch and so I turned on the lights which she then proceeded to point to and smile.  I have spent what seems like hours holding her up to light switches all around the house.  It can’t be good for the old energy bill and I reckon the neighbours think we’re learning Morse code
2. Remote controls.  A much coveted item in our house.  By all of us not just the lady!  She really loves grabbing the remote and pressing all the buttons.  It’s very clever but she keeps rewinding programmes I’m in the middle of watching or pausing the live tennis which, if hubby is around, is a cause of much stress and occasional yelling. 
3. Telephones.  Although remarkably similar, you can’t call 999 with a remote…thankfully I caught her just in time!
4. Pegs.  She has just discovered how pegs work.  She pinches hard and watches them open with intense fascination.  What she doesn’t understand is that they doesn’t work the same way at both ends and so she makes angry grunts at the pegs when they don’t open!  The problem is I can’t clear them into their basket quicker than she can take them back out. 
5.  Baby wipes.  She has figured out how to open baby wipes packaging- of any brand! When it goes quiet I can almost guarantee she’s found a packet and strewn the contents all over the floor. And then I have to somehow put them all back in...including the one she’s sucking on.

A fishy dishy

I recently made this for the little lady and was quite glad to munch the rest of it when she wouldn't finish it!

Ingredients:
Fillet of Fish-any kind! I used seabass because it was reduce at the Co-op :)
6-8 New potatoes
75g of sweetcorn (ish) it doesn't have to be precise just chuck some in the pan
1/2 a yellow pepper diced

Bake Mr. Fish for 20 minutes or so in a little olive oil wrapped in tin foil at about 180c
Boil up the potatoes for about 10-15mins
Towards the end of cooking the potatoes add the sweetcorn
Blanch the pepper for 2 minutes
Mash the pots, sweetcorn and pepper and add the flaked fish.

Yum yum.  It made about three portions for her ladyship- now 11 months.  If you want to go all out add a teaspoon of cream cheese and mix well.

Any one got any other good fish recipes please let me know as fish is not my forte!

Shepherding a Child's Heart

Well, well, well.  I am currently reading Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp and I thought that I could blog about a few of my reflections on each chapter.  It’s such a crazy original idea I can’t believe that no-one else has ever done it before…eh-hem.

I am reading occasionally before I go to bed and although this is no bed-time read I have at least have approx 7 hours to try and allow my sub-conscious to digest and process!

In the introduction Tripp outlines three areas that we need to develop in order to develop a God-centered and biblical approach to parenting:

Authority:

“You must not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience.  You must direct your children on God’s behalf for their good”.  In our self-obsessed culture where “children are often thought of as a liability” I must learn that I cannot simply manipulate my little girl in order to make my life easier.  This is a direct challenge to my sinful heart which always seeks to put itself first no matter the consequence. I think people sometimes physically shrink when they think about authority; it has so many negative connotations.  In our culture we are often actively encouraged to disobey authorities especially if those authorities are restraining us from following our hearts.  But what a bad idea- following your heart!  Jesus said “out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander”. (Matthew 15:19).  Really our hearts are a terrible thing to follow!  Thank goodness for the kind and servant hearted authority that Jesus exercises over my life to protect me from following my heart.  I must trust him and be obedient if I am to teach the lovely little one to live freely under God’s gracious authority.

Shepherding:

“Values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught”.  Simply put: I need to put my money where my mouth is.  I need to demonstrate to the little one that living with God at the centre of life is refreshing, fulfilling and overflowing with joy.  Not easy when I’m tired after work and lose my cool because the little lady pulled the guitar down on herself and persisted to howl for 45 minutes and then was sick because she’d cried so much.  Just an example I can pull off the top of my head…do I say “I’m sorry but Mummy’s been at work all day and got frustrated with you because she was tired” or do I say “Mummy reacted wrongly and used her tiredness as an excuse to allow her sinful nature to react impatiently an unfairly towards you”.  I know which explanation is easier to come up with but I know which one will teach her about human nature and point her towards living for a God of mercy and grace.

The centrality of the gospel:

“The gospel enables you and your children to face the worst in yourselves- your sin, your badness, and your weakness and still find hope, because grace is powerful.”  Jesus' life, death and resurrection is more than the forgiveness of sin it is also hope and empowerment for internal change.  I don’t just say to the lovely little lady ‘well, we sinners will always be sinners’ I will say ‘we sinners will always be sinners but there is real hope for change found in a relationship with Jesus’.  

Crikey. 

I hope I can remember all that when the crunch comes.